I tend to be a holiday sabotager.
You know the drill, right Mamas?
It’s Easter and everyone should be delighted to wear their best (and most uncomfy) clothes all the live long day and simply clap with joy at the fact that they get to partake in a family photo! Yippee!
Or, it’s your birthday and while you’ve told your husband a thousand times not to get you anything, we all know that’s a cold hard lie which, if he succumbs to will render you angry the entire day no matter how often you say your, “FINE!”
We tend to set our hopes on Pinteresty Dreams and Mind-Reading Husbands and Perfectly Behaved Children. All of which I’ve capitalized because they are simply fiction novels written in our minds and hold no place in reality.
I’ve written so many times before about our expectations and how they’re generally life ruiners. Yet, no matter how many times I write, it still happens even in teensy ways compared to the vast ways it use to.
I’m here today, Mamas, to give you the heads up that it’s Mother’s Day in a few weeks. The celebratory day that, by it’s very name, raises our expectations to monumental proportions. It’s our day. It’s all about us. It’s a Me-Me-Me sorta deal!
I hate to be the bummer here but can we remember that because we’re Mothers (and even humans with other humans in our lives) that it’s never our day. It can’t be. Nor should it be.
Because as long as there are people in our lives who need us or are in relationship with us or even simply want to speak to us that day? Well, it means there are equally as many ways that the day will not be about us and that our expectations will all blow up in our faces leaving us sobbing in the bathroom because nobody cares.<Oh, hey look – it’s my old friend self-pity>
Rather than living that scenario <again – ahem> here are a few things we should do instead.
- Remember that this is another day that you are alive and as such there will be noses to wipe, mouths to feed and questions to be answered that you really don’t feel like answering. There will be discipline to be handed out, toothpaste globs to clean out of the sink and presents that you don’t really want.
- Speaking of presents, if gifts are what speak love to your soul do yourself a huge favour and let your husband know this. Tell him that while you love plastic beaded necklaces and handprints with poems written inside, what you would really love is a new pair of jeans (include size, which brand, and exactly where you’ve put them on hold under his name), or a day at the spa or a handmade piece of jewelry you found on etsy that he would never, ever, ever even knew existed. You can even save yourself from explaining what etsy is by sending him an exact link, or be a saint, and order it yourself and give it to him to wrap up. There’s really nothing wrong with this.
- If presents aren’t your thing and maybe a nap is, communicate that.
- If time spent as a family in perfect harmony is really what you’re hoping for – you’re delusional and you should probably move on to the spa thing. Like, now.
- Most importantly, give up the expectations. Give up the comparison game with the moms at work or school or the photos posted on Instagram. Give up the standard of perfection that your family will never be able to achieve and show them grace for all the ways they try and kinda, sorta, get it right.
- Lastly, pray. I suggest starting now. Because our rock hard, perfection loving hearts are a difficult thing to crack. Pray that you would love your family that day no matter how it goes down. Pray that you wouldn’t have expectations but rather rejoice because you’re here and you have a family and that’s something special. Pray that your actions would be filled with peace and patience and gentleness rather than bitterness and selfishness. Pray that God would be your delight this day and so no matter what happens you trust that He is good. Even if said goodness comes in the form of paper flowers.