I know you’ve heard all of the sayings about seizing days and only living once. I know you’ve carpe’d the heck out of the diem and wished you could dance like noone is looking but the thing is, someone always is.
If you’ve navigated christian circles then the words may be more about living for an audience of one or making today count or not worrying about what tomorrow brings.
But let’s just lay it out on the table. We do worry about what tomorrow will bring. We just do.
It’s been stressful ’round these parts as of late. To do lists that are too long and decisions that feel too big and all of it leading to worrying about tomorrow. It’s caused me to watch for where the triggers lie. What things escalate my heart beat and set my mind to overdrive. What things are making me say to my hubs over the phone, “I just have to go because if I keep talking about this I might barf and I have things I need to accomplish happily and without barfing today.” For reals.
When the words came out I had reason to take pause because, really?
Is this my new mode of operation? Is this the way I do things now? Push them away because thinking causes anxiety or nausea? When on earth did decision making start causing nausea?
Oh, that’s right. The very first time I had to pick a paint colour for my living room. That’s when.
What I’ve found is that there are 3 repeat areas that send my mind into a whirl. 3 mentions of the words that cause the heart beat to pick up a bit. 3 areas of life that, should they be taken away, would leave me feeling…..gah. I can’t even think about it.
Thing is, my things are my things and I’m pretty sure you have yours. Those things that, when mentioned by your spouse, send you into a tirade of passionate words on the subject. Things that make you angry. Maybe things that you think mean the world and should they be taken from you makeyou feel like you just have no idea how you would survive.
Yours are likely different then mine. It could be a job or loss of money. It could be the place that you live or your circle of people. Your health. The use of your arms, legs, eyes, ears, or any other body part that isn’t your tonsils, because apparently we can function just fine without those.
For you is it sex? Is it vacations and ease? Is it your children? Your parent? Your (I’m sorry I just don’t understand) dog? Think for a second of the things you rely on each day. Even good things. Food? Coffee? A fashionable wardrobe? What if you had to wear polyester for the rest of your life? Your pastor? Your hair? Your ‘thing’ that gives you identity?
Take away any one of these things and it changes life drastically. Take away any two and you might wonder what’s going on and question what God is doing. Take away 3 and we fall down debilitated because this can’t be how it should be.
And we might not worry our pretty little heads about it if these things were taken away just for a day. That’s called camping! (hello, no proper coffee or home or reason to put on earnings!)
But what happens when these things are taken away indefinitely. Well, then we start worrying about our tomorrow’s, don’t we?
How will we pay the bills tomorrow? Or keep our body lean so our clothes will fit tomorrow? How can I look pretty tomorrow when I look like this or what will I be if I can’t do that tomorrow?
Tomorrows. They encompass every one of our stresses. Every one of our fears. Each moment of heart pound and blood pressure increase and a mind that just won’t stop.
But what happens when we take a little peak at our Todays. Our right now. Our this very moment.
Can we see that we’re here? Alive and kicking? And if that’s true it means that God has us right now, has purpose for us right now, has a reason for us to be on this planet right the heck now.
If we look at Today we notice more. We see that the wind is blowing and we can breathe it into our lungs. We see that there is food in the cupboard for right now. We see that our children are beside us or still inside us for right now. We see that we have protection from the elements right now. When you look at your today what do you see?
I see much. I see who cares if jeans have holes I’m clothed. I see beautiful windows that display mountains that show His glory. I see mismatched furniture but a place for our tribe to sit and laugh and contemplate. I hear boys loud in the distance. I see photos that remind me of times gone by and of His faithfulness. I see so much. Probably too much. And suddenly I’m hit smack in the face with how can I be worried when, this. Yes, some things have been taken, but this. Yes, some things are changing, but this. Right here. Right in front of me.
The truth is, when I look to tomorrow I fear that God might not have it. Yet, I only need to look at Today to see that He does.
**If you’re on Instagram, upload a pic of something you see in your Todays and hashtag it #seeingyourtodays so I can see!