The day looks heavy as the cold breeze rushes in the window and chills my exposed arms, arms that just hours earlier couldn’t get cool enough as sleep tried to overcome, the heat of the day taking its toll.
The mist hangs in the air, just looming. Not quite rain but certainly not clear.
There are 2 weeks left of summer and the weather just feels appropriate for this juncture. Grey. Foreboding. The skip robbed from it’s step. We’ve lived this summer oh so well and we’re not ready to face the realities that come with the turn of autumn but they’re hanging there right before our eyes. We’re choosing not to acknowledge them just yet but like the moisture in the air, even if we don’t see it, we can feel that it’s there.
Time. It’s a beast of a thing.
We yearn for it to pass quicker and then we long for it to slow down and then sometimes, ever so seldom, we get it right and we are right in the middle, the very center of the acrobatic swing. We have taken the plunge and flown off one end and haven’t quite landed on the other. We are in the midst of flying and living very presently right where we are.
It’s rare that we get there though.
We’re usually somewhere on either end of the spectrum, caught in the tension of pulling too hard or not quite hard enough. Trying to achieve the perfect balance. Don’t you find that when one part of life seems balanced and right you take a look around and see that so many others are teetering?
It’s summer and our play time has been perfect. Swimming and sun and lakes. Friends racing to the trampoline. Dirty feet and sweaty heads. Lazy evenings and tired bodies. We’re soaring on this summer trapeze but it’s starting to feel like our swing is nearing its end. That place where we get ready to dismount. Where we acknowledge that we must, in fact, hop off or we’ll find ourselves crashing and falling.
And so it is. We prepare and we plan. We try to cherish the last precious moments but our thoughts have shifted to schedules and sports and well planned dinners. We’re trying to fight the finish by gorging ourselves on watermelon knowing that soon it won’t be here but at the same time we’re freezing large quantities of soup.
I don’t know how to do this end of summer thing well. Some say go full steam ahead. Hang onto that trapeze until the chime of the bell rings and you know that things must change. Others have an ease it away philosophy. Start talking about pencils again and maybe break out the math games on the iPad preparing both heart and mind for what’s to come.
I land somewhere in the middle. Holding on too tight, willing it with all my might to last forever, but realistically knowing that I want to avoid the crash.
All too soon it will be upon us. The pendulum will have reached the precipice and the only thing to do is take a quick breath and change directions. Even if we don’t want to.