Some weeks it’s the small things. The moments. The one liners. The little faces and voices each morning and the deep breaths when you check on them in the eve. This week it’s definitely the little things that are grabbing my heart.
I’ve learned that even the thought of absence makes the heart grow fonder. It’s true. It does. Because as I think about letting our boy board a plane it makes the moments here sink in a little deeper, the glances held a little longer, the hugs just a little tighter.
But it shouldn’t. This is the way I should be all the time. Because we never know just how long we’ll have these little people in our grasp for. It’s thick of us to assume they’ll be around forever and so these lingering moments should happen daily, hourly. The tightened hugs should always be.
I was reminded of this in an honest moment. I’m not sure if you know but I have a no-nonsense, say it like it is, realistic sort of husband. I love this about him and sometimes I cringe about this in my husband but all the time he says the things that I need to hear. While cleaning up dinner together I may have blurted out a dramatic statement. He response makes me love him even more. I bumbled out something like, “What if O dies when he’s in Ireland. That means we only have 4 more days left with him!” and hubs fires back without missing a beat, “He could die tomorrow and then we only have one day left.” Right. Point taken. No reason to panic. But every reason to take note of the small things. The eyelashes, the smirk, the way they saunter down the hall.
So there has been moments this week that are sinking in just a little bit deeper.
There’s been proud mama moments like when my littlest little accepted a challenge on his skateboard that earned him 2 bucks and the little munchkin turned right around and donated it to his big brothers missions trip. I’m holding that moment deep in my heart.
There’s been hilarious moments like my two bigger boys ordering calamari for dinner and proceeding to hold each one up and describe how it died based on it’s current shape. My favourite: “Im swimming. Oh no! Electrocutio0000!” aaaaand freeze frame. tongue out. eyes rolled back. dead. Did I mention we’re super classy in restaurants?!
There’s been exciting and scary moments like when the texts from my big brother come in from Ireland saying things like, “Just a few more days!!!” Lord. have. mercy.
There’s been moments that warm me to the very core. That make me relish these days of being a mama. Like when my 3 boys are sitting at the piano together plunk, plunk, plunking away. The sounds of their chatter. The sounds of the notes. The fact that their feet can’t yet touch the floor. I love all of it right here and right now.
There’s been huge moments too. Like the insane generosity of our friends and family towards supporting my boys trip. Almost daily we get calls/texts/emails that say something along the lines of, “We have something for O.” or, “I just popped a little something in the mail for O.” The boy almost has his entire plane ticket paid for in 3 weeks! You guys are amazing ambassadors of Christ to my boy. You’re showing him how the body of Christ lives, moves, breathes. Thank-you. His eyeballs nearly pop out of his head each time someone hands him an envelope and then walks away. He’s a boy of few words. He’s a child who shows little outward excitement. But I can see it. You guys are changing his life. His perspective. And he hasn’t even left yet. Amazing.
There’s been long and lazy afternoons with friends, all of us, playing and laughing and just enjoying the company. There has been words that encourage and smiles that light up entire beings. There has been quiet glances and, “I’m gonna miss you” ‘s thrown out in grocery store check out lines.
I’m holding on to these moments this week. These plus a few more. I’m drinking them in. I’m savouring them. I’m thankful for every single one. I want to relish these times all the time, not just when a boy is leaving and you feel that your current days with them are numbered. These hearts of ours they need this all the time. To slow down and take note.
What small things are you enjoying this week?