Letters: Back to school edition

Dear Autumn,

Every year we go through the same awkward stage together.  Too cold in the morning and too hot in the afternoon.  I’m not sure I’ll ever fully know how to get dressed in your beginnings but let me say in advance, thank-you for being the season of sweaters and tights.  We’ll get through this rough period together and be BFF’s in a few short weeks.

Dear Middle School Parents,

Would you do me a favour and let me know if my boys start swearing.  Apparently this is when it starts to happen.  I beg to differ.  If you like, I’ll do the same for you.

Dear Lunch box containers,

Please don’t spill.  Like, all year.  Pretty please?  And do us all a favour, be easy enough for the little guy to snap you all the way closed.  Thank-you in advance.

Dear Gym Shoes,

You cost me a small fortune and I would appreciate it if you would find your way back to my boys locker even on your own if you must.   I know they will likely neglect you, sweat in you, stomp you into puddles, and forget you in a heap on the change room floor.  I know.  It sucks.  However, I promise to freshen you up every once in a while if you’ll do me this small favour.  Find your way home!

Dear Mornings,

Be gentle with me.

Dear Parents of children with nut allergies,

I won’t lie, sometimes I forget to read the labels of granola bars.  I try to remember each day and leave the peanut butter  and almond versions at home but I assure you there will be rushed mornings when I reach into the box, grab and file into 1, 2, 3, lunch boxes that are lined up on the kitchen counter.  I promise you my children are very aware and do read the labels so don’t freak if you see it in their lunch.  They won’t open it!  They’ve been indoctrinated.

Dear Sports Coaches,

Please recognize that some of us have more than one child and we need schedules in advance or our children are most certainly not going to be at practice on time.

Dear Public School system,

Our children are not the most important thing in the world, nor are they good at everything.  Please stop telling them that they are.  It’s okay for them to know that they likely will not be professional soccer players or famous artists.  It’s okay for them to not always succeed.  And when they hand in a piece of sloppy homework, please make them redo it.  You have my full support.

Dear Field Trip Busses,

No, I will not  accompany my child and their classmates on you.  Ever.  I will happily drive my own car.  No offense but your loud, stuffy and you give me a headache.

P.S.  You also don’t stop at Starbucks and I do.  I hope you understand.


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