1 trip to the dentist
2 1/2 hours of watching your son lie in the chair and squirm
900 dollars for watching the above
1 1/2 hours longer than you told your babysitter you’d be
1 chimney sweep appointment that you’re not sure you’ll make it home for
Combine the first 2 ingredients. mull for only a short amount of time. promptly remove from mind and move to step 2.
sprinkle ingredient 3 over the receptionists desk. Stir it around and keep yourself from coming to a boil.
Add in being late home for the babysitter (who had to be somewhere else in the afternoon) pinch by pinch until the entire hour and a half has been added. Once the tension has been thickened Mix and Panic.
Let options rise as you consider everyone you know and whether or not they’re in town to bail you out. Knead through the list and realize all of your friends are on vacation. Glaze with sulking. Return to Panic.
Whip home as quick as humanly (and safely) possible. Omit speed limit. Release babysitter. Add chimney sweep. Fold in.
Arrange frozen and drooling child on the couch. Leave at room temperature. Allow yourself to stand for at least 30 minutes before serving (anyone else).