How quickly things change

I feel so fickle.

Just this morning I was blogging about how great the week was and ironically enough it was because I got to hang out with precious little lives that had just been welcomed into the world.

Now tonight I want to write a blog post entitled something like, “actually this week sucks”.

I’m not sure what I’ve mentioned on here about my dad.  I realize I could scroll through my last 6 weeks of posts to see what I’ve written but I just don’t feel like it.  So, I won’t.

Long story, somewhat short.  The week before Christmas my dad got really sick.  He was in the hospital for 9 days doing tests and managing pain.  On Christmas Eve he came home and over the holidays we simply waited for the results of all they had done.  When they came back it was conclusive that my dad has cancer in his lung due to asbestos exposure.  When he was 19 he worked in a factory of sorts where they handled a lot of asbestos.  He worked there for 3 or 4 months.  That was his only exposure.

He is now 60.  Some 40 years later he is reaping the effects of that job.

The effects of that job are horrible.  In the past 6 weeks I’ve watched my dad go from healthy and strong to weak and frail.

Today came the news from the oncologist.  Surgery is not an option.  They can’t just radiate it as their is so much that they would simply burn his lung to a crisp.  Chemotherapy is an option and depending how the tumours and his body react to that – well, they’re going to try and prolong his life for a bit.

And that’s why this week is now officially a crappy one.  I really would prefer to have my dad live much longer.  I know this choice is not mine but if it were it’s what I would opt for.  Without a shadow of a doubt its what my mom would opt for as well.  My dad?  Well, he’s awesome.  His comment to me was something like this, “I’m not going to sit in a corner and cry so you better not either.”  as well as, “The two year olds in Haiti last tuesday weren’t given any warning that they were going to die.  At least I have some warning and I’ve lived for 60 whole years!”

Right, Dad.  Gotcha.  It’s still crappy.

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2 thoughts on “How quickly things change

  1. Hey Sweet, it’s 4:30 am and I just got home from work. As I walked in the door I saw your computer sitting on the coffee table and thought that you might have added another blog post today. I thought of you many times tonight and hoped and prayed that you would be able to sleep. I’m glad to find everything dark and quiet and even a ‘little one’ tucked in bed beside you. Before I call it a day and try to get some sleep myself I want you to know that I love you and that even more precious than that God loves you! Remember the words that you yourself so recently wrote right here over the last few days, remember all the precious times with friends, family, your Dad, and your sweet redeemer, and take your Dads words to heart so that over the years to come and the ages in glory you will have many more sweet memories to remember! Oh what a feast it will be!!

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